Puberty Emotions – Pits & Peaks of Puberty

Do you ever get to that stage in parenting when you think you have your child figured out and then BAM! Something changes again and you feel like you’re back to square one?!  I hope I’m not alone in this feeling, because it happens at so many stages.

I have 2 kids that have hit puberty and it’s a whole new world of parenting again!  While it’s great to watch them grow and develop, along with all the new skills and knowledge comes an emotional minefield for both us and our children.

There’s lots going on around this age for your child, including physical and emotional changes.  Their sleep patterns may change, and they might actually need more sleep throughout this stage of development. 

Puberty is a time of rapid brain development which will impact on their identity, interactions with others and how they express their emotions.  This can bring with it some challenging behaviours from our children.

Strong, intense emotions aren’t uncommon and are normal and to be expected in our children at this stage of development and might involve mood swings, self-consciousness, need for independence or seeking stronger relationships outside the family.

Some young people will do all they can to avoid their emotions, while others will let their emotions take over, rendering them incapable of daily tasks. As their safe adults we need to work with our children to help them to manage their emotions in healthy ways.  One way we can really help our children is to validate their emotions, helping them to see that we really are listening and understanding them and that we are relating to them in a non-judgemental way.

As tricky as it might be, seeing our young people’s rapidly fluctuating emotions as opportunities to connect will help us to respond with empathy and validation, rather than judgement.  We can help our children to effectively communicate and manage their emotions with role modelling too, they will learn by seeing how we manage our emotions.

When necessary, we can help our children to problem solve or we may need to set limits, but these will often be accepted more readily when our children are feeling heard and understood.

If you are unsure about whether your child needs a bit more help than you can provide with managing the strong emotions that come with puberty and adolescence it is always worth seeking the opinion of professionals.  This might include your child’s teacher, the school wellbeing team, your GP or a counsellor or psychologist.  Kid’s Helpline is also a great resource, not only for your child, but for you too! https://kidshelpline.com.au/ or 1800 55 1800

Michelle Mitchell has so many resources available on her website, this blog post is well worth reading too! Home Will Be the Hero: Creating a Safe Place for Our Tweens and Teens | Michelle Mitchell

If you’re navigating this life stage with a child with intellectual disability or autism the Planet Puberty website has a heap of resources https://www.planetpuberty.org.au/